That thing called “hurt”


I’ve been in a situation recently where my heart has been hurt, where I’ve felt hurt by someone. I’ve looked over the situation and it wasn’t anything that I or the other person has deliberately done to hurt me but it was more a matter of the other person not being deliberate and intentional about the magnitude of their decisions and their corresponding words and actions.

I have been disappointed and let down because someone couldn’t follow through with their word, that the words they spoke had no weight that they later realised that they couldn’t or they didn’t want to follow through with their word. Now I’m not talking about something like a person changing their mind about coming over for dinner or coming to your birthday celebrations, even thought that is cause to be upset, but I’m talking about relationships, I’m talking about marriage.

I have tried to shut my heart off from the other person but that creates a hardened heart and I’m constantly reminded of God’s word about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” and other scriptures like Luke 6:35 “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked”.

Okay right so I have to keep walking in love but hold on there’s forgiveness, the bible says in Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”. Oh Lord, you want me to forgive this person after they have led me on and hurt me?

It’s not easy forgiving people and loving people but it is the one thing that we as Christians are commanded to do. It also says in the bible that we are to count it all joy when trials and persecutions come because it produces character and refines us and builds our faith in God. It actually makes us more resilient.

The more we forgive, the easier it is for us to move on in life and the softer our heart stays. The more we forgive even when the other person doesn’t deserve it, (that is actually irrelevant) we are still called to forgive, it’s not for debate actually. The thing about forgiveness is that it releases our hearts and makes room for more love and other good things in our lives, un-forgiveness can be a big hindrance to our faith and walk with God.

Hurts will come yes, that is not out of the question but it’s what we choose to do with that hurt that will define and shape our future. For me hurt causes me to cry out to God and causes me to get on my knees and repent and to ask for His help. It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. It is also because He first loved us while we were sinners that causes us to turn to Him and forgive just as He has forgiven us of much.

Don’t allow hurt and pain from other people to rob you of your peace and joy. It is a conscious decision and choice that you have to make to forgive. There is nothing passive about forgiveness. Don’t allow un-forgiveness to block your blessings or cause you to have a hard and bitter heart. Let it go and ask God to heal your heart and help you to forgive so that you can move on. I hope and pray that you will allow God to show you what areas of your heart that you need to allow God to heal and allow Him to help you with forgiving those that have hurt you.


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