This is a bit of a sensitive subject but have you had people in your life walk away from you, neglect you, abandon you, leave you and desert you? I just want to say that whatever the situation, you are not responsible for other people’s actions.
We cannot always see what is ahead and sometimes life just gives us a tough blow. Some of us were born in loving families and have had wonderful relationships and lives but there are some of us like myself that have just had a tough start from early on and we’ve just been beat and beat and beat.
For myself I was adopted and around the age of five, my adopted Dad left home, then some time later I didn’t see him for a good solid 6-8 years. Since that early experience, I had separation anxiety, I was anxious that I would be alone. I had no one to trust. Later on in life, when people left I went into depression and would suffer in silence and in anguish.
My father left for good reasons but as a small child I didn’t see those reasons, I just missed my Dad and all of a sudden he wasn’t around anymore and I just assumed that he didn’t love me or care about me. I just didn’t understand. Don’t get me wrong, my father is a great man and still is someone who I love and respect dearly. Later on in my adult years I found out why my father left and why I couldn’t see him for all those years, it was actually out of both of our control at the time. However the consequences of my father leaving home were horrific as I endured physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse, I was raped multiple times and assaulted and hospitalized. I suffered greatly because of my fathers absence.
Later on in life, I started to enter into relationships and each separation was heart wrenching, I lived in fear that they would leave me and so I reacted out of fear, I was insecure, I was nervous, afraid. I did everything that an insecure abandoned, angry and scared little girl would do.
It was always difficult to trust people. I still have trust issues, it’s so painful to trust even the best of people with the best of intentions.
One thing I’ve learnt in life is to just let people go. I’ve developed this tough hard shell that has this “whatever” attitude, that no matter what happens, if people want to walk out of my life then I let them, I suck it up and get on with life.
Friends have abandoned me, my parents and family and even when I was married I had a husband who walked out on me and never came back. It’s taken me a good few years to get over that one so I’ve just learnt to let go. If people don’t want to stay in my life then that’s okay.
Don’t think it’s been easy because it hasn’t been.
I believe people come and go like the seasons. There are seasons for growth and there are seasons of loss and part of the dance of life is to embrace when to hold on and when to let go. Just keep on being the best you that you can be, don’t change or compromise your faith, your beliefs, dreams and who you are just to keep people in your life because at the end of the day you will sell yourself short and it will be like cheating on yourself.
Forgive the ones that have hurt you and are genuinely sorry.
Be who you are, love the ones that are dear and close to you and let go of the people that choose to leave you ~ Jonda